Results have come out...

Elections Canada released the final tally, and Martine lost by 427 votes.

Too bad.

She still got 16366 votes, though. Mighty impressive.

They took it off.

Guess who's back? Ed's back!



edit - fixed fux0rd link

What a night.

Well, there was Election Night in Canada.

The Liberals won. Well, better them than Harper's Bizarre. (terribly sorry for the pun)

I was working until 11:30PM, and I was following 4 things:

• Obviously, the nationwide results (Liberal, minority, good)


• Also obviously, the Quebec results (Bloc, 54 seats, very good)


• Less obviously, the Outremont results (I wanted Lapierre to lose, he didn't, the bastard)


• Also not very obvious, the Papineau results

Let me tell you why. The candidate for the Liberals was Pierre Pettigrew. The Bloc had Martine Carrière. Who is Martine Carrière? She was in my politics class, at the Uni. She's been with the Bloc for 2 years, and had the guts to go against a big name in the Liberal machine, and try to be the youngest female MP ever elected. She was 'dreaming' of forcing Pettigrew into a recount, and 'hoping' that she'd lose by about 5000 votes.

Last election, the Libs won by 12000 votes or so. This time, I was watching closely. Early in the evening, Pettigrew was winning by 300 votes. Then, by 40. Then he started losing. By 10 votes. Then by 200. Then by 800. Then by 1200. (I thouroughly apologize to the lady who had problems installing her USB drivers for her modem at this time - I really wasn't paying attention.) Then I left work.

Fuck this, I'm going to Martine's office. It's at Jarry metro. Luckily, I had a friend with me.

We get there, she's losing by 150 votes. Then by 1400. Then, by 200 again.

Then the votes stop coming out.

No one knows which polls are still to come. It's 50-50.

Drama ensues: it seems one of the poll-persons was pregnant, and was rushed to the hospital to, of all things, have a baby, on election night. Couldn't it wait? Then, another person, in the same office, got a fucking heart attack. Right before opening the damned box.

At this point, she's losing by 334 votes.

Turns out there are two possibilities. Either all boxes have actually been opened, and the result stands, even though Elections Canada's web site says 180/182 boxes open (that's according to the directeur du scrutin, from what I heard). Or, there are 2 boxes still uncounted, and they won't be until tomorrow morning.

Whichever it is, I spent a great evening. Tension, drama (and yes, Jon, even one beer)...

I'm really pround of Martine, and I'm proud of all 16270 people who voted for her. She's a great girl, and she really worked her ass off during the last month. And to think only a few months ago I was helping her with our Canada-Québec Politics class...

Now, to bed. I'm working tomorrow.

Today is the day...

All you Canadians here...

GO VOTE!

It takes 2 minutes, and it's the one time in 4-5 years that you actually have your say in governing your country.

Think Paul Martin's a dumb fuck? Throw him out! Think Stephen Harper is worse than Bush? Vote against him! Think there's not enough mustaches in Ottawa? Vote Layton!

I don't care who you vote for. Just go. Do it.

Elections Canada's FAQs are dumb

There is something ridiculous in this country. The second question in Elections Canada's FAQ about the vote is this:

Is someone allowed to eat a ballot?

What. The. Hell.

If that is frequently asked, I take back what I said. Canada's stupider than the US. No contest.

Outside The Asylum

In the spirit of Wonko The Sane, here's a quote I have found in my 'Cubicle Hell' desktop calendar:

An actual tip from page 16 of the HP "Environmental Health Safety Handbook for Employees": Blink your eyelids periodically to lubricate your eyes.

For more information on Wonko The Sane and where The Asylum is, I suggest reading The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy's fifth book in the trilogy, Mostly Harmless, or you can also read the instructions on a packet of toothpicks.

Substance abuse, Xenoman style

For those who didn't know, Xenoman is one of my old ex-coworkers, from back in the good ol' days when we used to get paid to play Worms and listen to music.

He's always (well, since I knew him, at least) held a very specific and, frankly a bit unsettling, view of what he refers to as "substances": alcohol, tobacco, and drugs in general.

He doesn't approve of them. Not only does he not use them, but he honestly disapproves of anyone getting drunk, smoking or doing drugs.

Which, to me, is odd, because he was genuinely set back by all this "substance-taking" that was going on. Why would anyone want to do that to himself?! Doesn't the smoker care about his body, about his health?! But, you know, at the same time, why not eat McDonalds for breakfast and lunch 4 days a week... No biggie.

But that's neither here nor there. He's entitled to his opinions, and I'll be damned if I'm going to take them away from him. We are, after all, not in America.

What really irks me about all this is, how does he fucking know? How do you get that God Damned opinion in there, if you have absolutely no clue what you're up against?

Maybe alcohol, I understand, he had a traumatic experience, with all that's entailed by being the only sober person in a gigantic gathering of young piss-ass-drunk high school partiers. Seeing people puke over each other is not quite what they put in beer ads, you know?

Smoking, I guess. I mean, it's easy to be anti-smoking these days. No one's making it hard for anyone to hate smokers, and no one seems to mind that they're confined to -40C temperatures, outside in the winter. It's become like that. So be it.

Drugs? Well, they're illegal, aren't they? I'm sure that's for a reason, right?

Well, you know what? I call bullshit.

There is no way you can lead a full life, in my opinion, if you deny yourself such pleasures. Of course, you're not going to find me saying that smoking's actually good for you, or that the Breakfast of Champions includes Mushrooms and Budweiser. But, come on.

All that "high on life" shit - how about a nice glass of wine with a big juicy steak? Or a glass of beer, once in a while? That's certainly not going to kill you, (and in fact wine is actually good for you) but, really, must you deny yourself that? Are you trying to make a point? Set an example?

Let me tell you who that reminds me of.

I know a girl. Let's call her, oh, I don't know, Diane.

Diane is now, I believe, 26 or so. Maybe 27. Anyways. Not important.

What's important is this: she's a virgin. Not a born-again virgin or anything like that. No. She's a true, real-life, hardcore, virgin. And you know what? She very well intends to stay that way. Forever. She has said, on a few occasions, "I really want to die a virgin". Now, never mind the reasons.

What's your take? You've probably already had sex, or else you should really go, it's past your bedtime. Is it bad? Would you give it up, forever? Remember before you had sex, the first time. Before you were even interested in girls. You didn't care, it wasn't important... If you were inclined to be very introspective, you might have even thought you could go all your life without ever having any sexual relations with any member of the opposite (or same, whichever) sex. But now - would you still do it? How do you picture it, being 40 years without sex?

Now - you can feel a few different ways about Diane. You can laugh and ask why she's not joining a convent. You can wonder why she chooses that. You can pity her because she doesn't know what she's missing. But the core of the business is this: she's forgoing something quite good, that she has absolutely no interest in, most probably because she does not know how good it is.

---

Now I know you're all expecting me to try to bridge together the concepts of "having sex" and "smoking a joint". Well, it's not going to happen. I'm sure you can draw your own conclusions. And if I'm being unclear, just ask me.

I promise I won't be drunk nor high when I answer.

Penny Arcade!

Penny Arcade!

I don't even think this is necessary, but if you don't read PA, I'm not talking to you. Ever again.

Though tempting that might sound, read it anyway.

The Awful Forums - Goldmine - A Safety Message From Your USPS Letter Carrier

The Awful Forums - Goldmine - A Safety Message From Your USPS Letter Carrier
Some of the funniest photoshopping EVER. Go! Now!

This should also be fun

I’m trying to see whether I can actually update my blog via e-mail. That would rock.

St-Jean

Yep.

Yersterday's St-Jean party was fun. We almost ran out of hot dogs, but in the end all was good.

Except for the stupid rain.

Well, that really wouldn't have been a problem if it hadn't been for the thunderstorm. You see, pool + lightning != fun. Pool + lightning = everybody get the fuck out and get inside.

Some of us actually went back in the pool afterwards, and it was good. There is not much cooler than drinking a beer in a pool while it's pouring rain.

It was one of those parties where even though it's not memorable in any way*, it really was fun and if I could've made it last for much longer than it did, I would've. But people have to work, and that's fine. I was super-tired too.

But I was happy.

* When I say it wasn't memorable, I mean that it's not the kind of party we'll remember fondly, or at all, in a few years or whatever. It doesn't take away the fun of it all. I just don't seem to know how to throw real parties, ones that stay in your head for years, that no one wants to leave and all that. I don't know, I always feel like it's lacking something.

Let's give this one a shot

I'm going to try and make this interesting.

Not sure it's going to work, though.